


Real Superheroes are Short

by Saskia



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adult Peter Parker, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, F/F, F/M, Family, Humor, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 09:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12745191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saskia/pseuds/Saskia
Summary: Becoming an Avenger is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to Peter Parker. Best because, well, that’s obvious. Worst because, up to this point, Tony holds him up to standards he simply cannot reach.Now, Peter is trying to reconcile his past with the new future he has chosen. But when Tony flies back into the picture, Peter’s love life goes from incredibly complicated to Iron Man vs Deadpool apocalyptic.Unfortunately for him, Peter’s problems don’t stop with an ex-mentor and negasonic-teenage-warhead-wannabe budding heads. Just as Peter begins to unravel the mystery behind the recent threat, the members of Hephaestus decide to take an interest in his actions. Outclassed with these powers in play, Peter knows that one misstep could leave the human and superhuman world in ashes.When the inevitable darkness finally descends, Peter will need more than just the Avengers to get out of this mess.





	Real Superheroes are Short

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely loved the video diary intro in Homecoming and wondered what it would be like if Peter kept an actual diary. I decided not to write a recollection of what we have already seen, but rather create a new story where he engages with his audience like in those vids, but then on paper.
> 
> Set a few years after Civil War, Infinity War, and Homecoming. Peter is 22. Relationships are yet to be decided. Many Marvel characters expected to make an appearance.

# Chapter 1: Superheroes

 

Superheroes are everywhere. Lose the all-superheroes-are-rich-and-famous and all-superheroes-look-like-GQ-models stereotypes. Think Betty, the nurse at the hospital, who handed you your new-born son. John, the bartender at your local pub, who cuts you off after having a few too many. Even the cleaning lady at your office who gives you the evil eye for leaving those crumbs on the desk. And, don't freak out now, but John could have read your mind whilst you were drowning your sorrows. Betty the nurse might have used her mind control powers to make you no longer afraid of that flu shot, before sending you on your way feeling proud about yourself, and you wouldn't have a clue.

Cool, really. Well, if you deal with a superhero that is, supervillains are a whole different story. But most of us, super-powered, gifted, mutant, whatever you want to call us, have figured out that we can perfectly blend in with society.

Yes, that’s right, we, us. I’m Peter Parker. Pete to my friends. No, not really, I don’t know why I said that. Just Peter. Anyway, did you think all superheroes were tall, muscled, broad-shouldered, and handsome billionaires? If only. The tall, broad-shouldered part anyway. And the handsome part. Right, don’t forget the billionaire part.

If you were to pass me on the street you’d think nerdy, twentysomething with a great smile, thank you very much.

So how did I end up a superhero? Long story, maybe we have time for that later. How did I become an Avenger? Oh, you didn’t know that yet, right, forgot to mention it, sorry. Let’s try this again. Hi, I’m Peter Parker, Spiderman, and an official member of the Avengers.

So how did I become an Avenger? Long story short, a man, of course. Famous, dark hair, covered in metal, and 2012 People Magazine's sexiest man alive. When our paths cross, I call him "Mister Stark". I think he simultaneously loves and hates that. He definitely hates it.

We met in Queens. Tony recruited me to help him stop Steve, Captain America. Well, you know all that, right? No? Where have you been the last year? In Africa, building schools? That’s actually a valid excuse. Then you should definitely check [Bucky’s Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/the_life_of_bucky_barnes/), he keeps a record of all the stuff that happened. Some of it is real heavy, so keep tissues on hand.

Anyway, after the whole Civil War debacle, Stark became my mentor. First, he didn’t want me to be an Avenger, too young, too inexperienced, too reckless, then a few months or so later, when he decided to do me a big favor and finally make it public, I refused.

No way was I going to be tied down. Who was watching out for the little guy? Me, that’s who. Your friendly neighborho-, well, you get the picture.

Then Tony needed me for Infinity War and the rest is history. Iron Man is irresistible when he wants to be. After that we decided that it was time to take the next step. What? No, not that step, the make Spiderman an official member of the Avengers step.

If I'd only known… Turns out the missions, rules and responsibilities last forever, the fun, not so much.

And imagine the same roommates for years. Trust me, the team wasn’t exactly thrilled when Tony brought home a Kid to fill their ranks. Especially one that could bend the Winter Soldier’s arm, steal Cap’s shield and ground Falcon. Three strikes right there. I eventually brought them around, but by then I'd had enough of being the baby Avenger, never seeing my friends or Aunt May, and… well… Tony. I remember how he was like, how he pushed me to be better, how he could make my fears and insecurities disappear, how he looked at me, but mostly how he held me up to standards I simply could not reach. It had been a nice dream, but I couldn’t be Tony’s little project any longer. Our relationship had evolved… and he was the only one who refused to see that.

So I decided it was time to move on. I'm going west. Athens. Yes, in Ohio. I've heard it's a happening place. I've got friends there, Ned and MJ, plus I've checked it out online.

Ned and his boyfriend live in a modern house near the University. He e-mailed me pictures. Okay, okay, I admit it. I heard Tony bought a vacation home there recently. What can I say? The team is safely tucked away in New York, and Tony, without the Iron Man suit, is still one of the smartest, funniest, and most interesting people I know. I'm going to check it out. Athens, that is.

And there are opportunities for entrepreneurs. I'm not rich like a lot of superheroes, including my ex-mentor. I've always had to work for a living because I'd never take a dime from Tony, then I'd be obligated. Yes, technically Tony paid for the Avengers training facility, our rooms, food, suits and weaponry. But I never accepted payment for clothes, vacations, or my new Samsung Galaxy S8! I work. I made good money working in a repair shop, fixing up broken laptops and TVs. So that is something to look forward to; new job opportunities. But I mostly can’t wait to see Ned and MJ again. Yeah, I like to hang with humans. But I have lots of superhero friends too. I've run across quite a few over the years. We've got heightened senses, especially when it comes to our own kind. Oh, nothing nasty, it’s not like I can smell them or anything. Except for Wade, but his farts are 'Legendary' as he himself proclaims. Totally true, days later the stench still hasn’t left your house, or in my case, bed. Don’t ask.

It's close to midnight when I hug Aunt May, shed a few tears, and listen to the familiar wheeze and stutter of my ancient 1998 Chevy Silverado coming to life as I make a U-turn.

I'm just crossing the border and singing "You’re the man, but I got, I got, I got the power." love Little Mix, when my cell phone rings.

“Ned tells me you're moving to Ohio. OHIO.”

Tony. Who else would assume I knew who he was, dispense with pleasantries, and criticize my life choices, even though I haven't seen him for two months… I was not counting. Nope. Absolutely not.

I sighed. “Yes, I'm on the road as we speak. Why?”

“The team had a nasty run-in with Hephaestus members.”

A bad group. Led by a man named Hephaestus. Billionaire, extremely intelligent, famous, designs state of the art weaponry, handsome, egocentric… Sound familiar? He resembles Tony in every way, with one exception. He is a hunter who decided that the Avengers are the biggest game of all. Oh yes, and he takes trophies. No problem for the Avengers, right? Wrong. For every member of us, he has a supervillain of his own.

A nasty run in. I felt sick. Nasty in Tony language meant he'd come within inches of being dead.

“What happened? Is everyone ok?”

A world without Tony. Our always interesting, but oh so complicated, relationship was one of the things that kept me going.

“Yes. We are all fine.”

I took a deep breath and heard Tony laugh genuinely on the other end of the line.

“The team misses you. I miss you.”

I snapped, trying desperately to ignore the way my mouth had already started forming the words 'I miss you too'.

“Miss me? Please. And why the sudden interest in my personal life? You never cared before. If it wasn’t Avenger related… You never even bothered to come visit me at my new job.”

“You don't have to work at all. I'm responsible for-“

“No you’re not. I’m responsible for me. No one else.” God, we'd had this discussion at least a thousand times. “I’m not a kid anymore, Tony. I thought you at least understood that after…“ Tony was nothing if not hard-headed. Once, almost a year ago, I'd yelled at him that he'd ruined my life, forced me to grow up too fast, robbed me of my childhood. It was a meltdown, brought on by too much Avenger togetherness. I'd gotten over it almost immediately, but Tony seemed haunted by it. But the truth is, even if I hadn’t been bitten, I still would have become an Avenger. Well, not an Avenger, just a regular hero, a human hero. Like the many men and woman who risk their lives every day to make this world a better place. I watched a criminal murder my uncle right in front of me when I was six years old. And after witnessing something like that, I understood better than anyone the need, no, the obsession, to make a difference, even just for one single soul.  

“Thank you for your concern.” I said, trying to inject as much sarcasm as I could into my voice, because really, what the hell was Tony playing at?

“Damn it, Peter, I need you here.”

I let that demand go for the moment. I know what you’re all thinking. Why doesn’t he turn the car around? This story is rubbish, so not written by Parker, completely out of character. The truth is, I tried to leave many times, there was always another Hephaestus, another maniac, there was always going to be another Hephaestus.

“How did you get away?” Hunting Avengers as a sport. What next? Avengers stuffed and mounted?

“When it was obvious we were outnumbered, and outgunned, the team and I got the hell out of there.”

Tony sounded tired. “Peter, I need you here, where I can protect you.”

Years of caring for someone couldn't just be turned off. I understood.

“Are you wounded?”

“Slightly. I’ll heal.”

Slightly. Which could be anything from a bruise on the arm to a bullet wound.

“You will join us. I can protect you here. I've got state-of-the-art security and

Avengers patrolling around the clock.”

Being under Tony’s protection… I'd never felt safer than when I was with him. Even during missions. But he hadn't asked. He'd issued an order. And I quit following his orders over a year ago.

“Is Iron Lady with you?”

I glanced at my dog who was checking out the countryside.

“Yes.” Exhausted, I held the phone away from my ear, an internal battle raging inside my mind, pride versus being more than a little tempted to turn back as fast as my aging Chevy could carry me. Pride won.

“Keep her close until you get here. You’re not going to Ned. I’m expecting you-“

I hung up on him. Just like that. I turned my phone off and smacked the red metal case on the dashboard.

The last thing on earth I felt physically, emotionally or mentally equipped to do was turn back now. If I did that. I would never leave.

“The robot giving you grief, Underoos?” Lady. Obviously not your ordinary companion animal.

“No. And careful, fur face. You really don’t want to make me mad. I’ll muzzle you faster than you can say 'Underoos'.” I pointed my web shooters at Lady, feeling strangely compelled to correct her about Tony giving me grief.

“Whatever. Right now, nature calls.”

The first thing you should know about Lady, she is not a real dog, and certainly not a lady.

“Watch it, baby spider, or I’ll lift my leg on your radio.”

We communicate. Not out loud, but in my head and inside any head within range. Like Vision, she is another 'when science met magic' non-romantic tale.

“You gonna ignore me or what?”

That did it. I pulled off the highway and stopped the car on the side. No traffic at two in the morning. And no wonder. This stretch of road wasn't exactly the scenic route. Rocks, ugly bushes and sand. Period.

“All right. All right.” I jerked open the door and hopped out. “Hurry. We're miles from nowhere.”

She's part canine, part computer and all weird. And she reports to Tony so she's a damned spy. How? Tony and Bruce cooked her up in their lab, don’t ask me if actual lovemaking was involved. No, I mean actual dog style lovemaking, no not doggy style, actual dog on dog, not the Rage against the Machine lovemaking. Although, no one really knows what goes on in that lab at times, especially when the 'do not disturb' sign hangs on the door.

I heard a snort and glanced over at her. Did I mention she can read my mind?

“You have a filthy imagination for such an innocent face.”

How irritating is that? And not to mention her grandma/darth vader personality.

Anyway, I saved her life one day during a mission and now she sleeps in my bed, even when I don’t want her too.

“Please, I’m the only contender in the sleep with Peter contest.”

She gave me a look and, yeah, I did feel that circle of safety wrap around me like a warm blanket.

“I've got your back, kid. Always.”

I had to laugh. That voice in my head, big brown eyes and a wagging black tail. “Whatever, fur face.” In many ways, Tony was right here.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for the Marvel universe, please be kind.


End file.
